I Fell Again...

Am 35 years old...and I am still learning in the university of life...I wonder how a person can go through life without learning anything in the process...

True...I have made several unfavoured choices in my life path...but I have got to be strong in my swimming through this heavy current...

I love my children so much...and I misses them a whole lot...this is the time that I want them most in my life...yet, I want to be alone...why do I choose it that way?...I don't even know what am I feeling right now...

I just want to be happy...is that so difficult to ask?...I am not demanding...yet no one seems to be able to make me happy...I want to see smiles on all my loved ones faces....yet I see gremlins and monsters in the making...

Life is full of trials and turbulences...worries not as, so long as we have given our best to life...should we be worried?...Live life to the fullest?...how do you define that?...do you mean by satisfying your wants?...which is a neverending wants in life...

I don't want to be a slave to life...no one have the rights to judge me or pre-judge me for that matter...I am who I am...we changed to be a better person...not for anyone else...but for our own self dignity...

~me~

My Lil' Princess - My Pride

I m x gd in givin out compliments, tho, I m gd in lovin' my lil' princess...THANK YOU darling for being my Lil' Princess...

~Luv U~
mama

A New Beginning...

Hmm...it's bn a hectic week...I was down wit a weird feverish feeling n a bad case of coughing n a severe headache...nevertheless...managed 2 overcome it...now I'm dealin wit my cough n headache still...I've finally moved in my own place...having my own privacy n doing stuffs dat I wanted 2 do most...spending time wit my lovely kids at home...

We had our 1st ever DINNER together...it was awesome...tho there was only 1 "lauk"...but we had a great time eating together at home...

I realized how much I've missed them...watching them squabblings among another...n joking n teasing among themselves...it was very entertaining...

Dis morning was our 1st "sahur"...it was a challenge getting dem to wake up...still...we managed...n dey went straight bck 2 sleep...typical of KIDS!!!...

I LOVE YOU...my darling angels...

~xox~
mama

Yet again...it's all a big LIE!!!

Yet again another lie...how I hate dis man...who hv bn a big influence on ME...I succumbed 2 all his wimps n fancies...even till nw...mayb it's true...wat ppl say abt me...I nvr learn my mistake...always give benefit of d doubt 2 ppl...regardless...let dem push me ard till I m pinned against d wall...n dat 2...will x deter me frm being ME...always GIVING IN...

I m a sucker for LOVE...

~xox~
Ur Lil' Princess ("ex"...unquote)

Only GOD Knows...

I realized that I m x perfect...nvr hv I imagined myself wld b...it seems dat no1 knos me better bt myself...bt den...how cum I dun even kno who I m?

At times...I feel like driving straight into the divider...n at times...I just feel like running...as fast as I cld...and I wld...if only I m brave enuf...

At times...I hate myself...for being ME...at times, m jst ME...loving each day...s it is...

Now...I feel so alone...I feel so empty...

only GOD Knows...how I truly feel...

~xox~

ME

Thanks...My Lil' Princess...

Dis is my very 1st own blog posting...n tks 2 my lil' princess...she hv awaken me frm a really deep sleep dat I, myself forced 2 be in...nvr wanting 2 wake up...tho several callings were made... by d 1 dat luvs me most...4 who i was...i m...n i wld b...

I realized dat I've gone so deep into d forest dat I lost my way...bck hom...I took an unchartered road...leading me further away frm hom...I found a new place...hidden frm all n kinda like it der...nvr want 2 return hom...

My darling lil' princess...nvr hate me, pls...no 1 is perfect n I m sure m NOT...I tried my level best 2 b d best "mom" ever...n i kno...ure hurtin'...coz' I m...

Baby...trust me wen I say dat I luv u n ure forever my lil' princess...it hurts wen u dun wanna talk 2 me...n it hurts even more wen I kno u x accept my newfound life...ppl chg...yep...n I must admit...I do 2...bt dat does x mean dat I dun luv u, my lil' princess...

1 of dis days...wen ure all grown up n bcome U...I jst hope dat u can forgive me n understand y I had 2 do wat I had 2 do...luv u wit all my heart...my lil' princess!!!

~xox~

mama